Friendship

Where to start? First of all I have a new job, OK it's not so new because I have worked there for about two months now. I basically work for at&t in customer service. There is a lot of pressure around it but I am loving it. I have made some really awesome new friends there. I didn't know that I was at a point in my life  to be able to make friends that easily. I mean come on it isn't high school anymore. But that is what I want to talk about today. Friendship. What it means to me, when you say I'm your friend, how seriously I take that. Also, the big question....is it really harder when you lose a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I will talk about that as well.

When I say that you are my friend, to me that means I would do anything for you. I will be there when I don't agree with what your choices are. I will help you put your life and spirit back together when it all falls apart. I will laugh with you, cry with you and listen into the wee hours of the mornings. I will be loyal to you. If someone crosses you then they have crossed me. I will be honest with you, I will give you advise. and if you don't listen to it then I wont get upset. I will count on you. I will trust you.

I am going to focus on the two main friendships in my life. "Holly" and "Beth" not their real names for some of what I'm going to talk about isn't that flattering. If you know me, you will know who I am talking about for the most part.

 When I first met Holly, i was six years old and had just moved into the neighborhood. We became friends instantly. She is the oldest of four kids and I am the youngest of three. We would play hide and seek, dress up and house. only instead of dolls we would use her twin sisters. When we were ten, we got into a huge, and I mean HUGE fight and didn't say a word to each other for four years. Keep in mind we only lived two houses down from each other. So that did take some effort. When I was fourteen I was leaving my private school and going back to public. My next-door neighbor had called us both over at the same time so that we could talk since we were going to be going to the same high school and we became inseparable ever all through high school. Our friendship never wavered even when I moved from Washington to Texas. We stayed strong. Never fighting over the same boy. Never backstabbing each other. That is not to say we didn't fight. We just never betrayed each other. She knew all my deepest darkest secrets, my biggest dreams, and my worst fears and never used any of them against me. And I her, no matter how mad I got with her I always had this underlying sense of loyalty. We are still best friends to this day. We have been there for each other in every major joy and sadness in each other's lives. She is what I would describe as my soul mate. Whenever I feel like I have lost who I am she is quick to remind me. She calls me out on my bullshit. And truly loves me for who she knows I am.


Then there is Beth. We met at our first job and to be honest I didn't like her from the start. She was quiet so I thought she was snobby. I was nice to her but I had no interest in being her friend. We didn't go to the same school, I only had to deal with her at work. Then when my boyfriend at the time and I broke up. He hit on her. She came to me immediately and told me what had happened and said. "I don't like seeing my friends being treated that way. he is an ass" At that moment i ate my feelings I couldn't believe that I had judged her so quickly. She had no reason to be loyal to me and yet she was. That is when we became friends. She was in my wedding. When both of my boys were born and when I found out my new husband was cheating on me. Up until the point that I left him. I had been there for her as well. I was the ONLY friend that loved her though the most difficult decision in her life. I was the ONLY friend that when she made choices, I said I love you and Ill be here for you when you need me. Yet when I made the most difficult decision in my life. Leaving my husband and breaking up my family, she was no where to be found. What hurts is Landon and Isaac miss her and I have nothing to say as to why she is gone. I have tried talking to her, but nothing. I'm not even mad. Just really very hurt. I guess I just got spoiled with Holly. She would never pull something like that. "A pure bond" I guess Beth and my bond wasn't as pure as I thought.

To be honest, losing my friendship with Beth was harder then losing my marriage. I know that sounds a little backwards but when I left my husband I had literally been preparing myself for that day since he had a girlfriend while I was pregnant with our second son. I had always hoped we could work it out but I always knew there was the possibility that it wouldn't. My friendship ending with Beth came out of left field. Without reason or notice we just were not friends anymore.




After all this had happened with Beth I really didn't think that I would be open to new friendships. But was I wrong! I have met some of the most awesome people at my new job and we get along really well. We have a lot in common, for example children they are young mom's as well which is the only thing that I have been missing in either one of those two friendships that I talked about earlier. OK, well I think I have written enough for now. Feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear your opinion about anything that I have written about.


Truly,
Melisa

When I looked up the definition of friendship my favorite was. "a pure bond" that is a perfect way to describe how it should be.