Sitting here in my bed with Isaac watching Toy Story 2, I am trying to wrap my mind around how much in my life has changed and how much it is going to change in the next few weeks. Chris and I met ten years ago, we got married 9 years ago and started a family 8 1/2 years ago. Then 4 years ago we split up. We divided our family and did the best we could to co-parent. I am very proud that we didn't split up Christmas or the kids school stuff. We did the best we could to keep a family feeling even when we could hardly stand each other. I remember one hot August day we took the kids to River Front Park for kids day and while we were waiting for some people to show up we realized it was our anniversary when we saw a bride getting pictures taken by the river. We even joked that we should go warn her. We were far from in love. To be honest I wasn't even sure that I would ever truly love again at that point. I correlated love with pain, and I know he did to.
What Christopher and I didn't know at the time was God was working on us. He was allowing us to grow up, and strengthen our relationship with him so that he could be the center of the marriage and not just an observer. Then after three years it was like a light came on. The hate and anger in my heart was gone, I no longer doubted or feared. I knew that Chris loved God and he loved me. I know/knew that he would do anything to protect and honor me. For the first time, I felt safe. We decided that we would not tell anyone for a little while because we knew that there would be doubt and unlike when we were unhappy, we didn't feel we had anything to prove. We knew this time it was different and that was enough for us. Thankfully we have the kind of friends and family that support us and our decisions. Ill never forget the first 4th of July of Chris and I back together and his Uncle came up and gave me a hug and told me I was missed. I also know it means the world to Chris that my family and friends are close to him as well.
After being back together for over a year we found out that our little family wasn't done growing, and now in less then 8 days we will be having a little girl that we have waited our whole lives to meet. I have always known that God was good. However, I never imagined that I would be this blessed. I am sharing my life with truly my best friend. It sounds
cliché and cheesy but it is the truth. I love being around him. He doesn't make me a better person, he doesn't complete me, it is more then that. I am a whole person that would give anything to keep him from pain. I truly believe in who he is and will support his dreams. I will always laugh with him and give him a hard time about his little feet. I am truly thankful for our life together, and I believe the reason I can be is because I know what it is like when our life is apart.
