What an adventure!

I cannot believe it has almost been three weeks since our little family has grown.  Little Jordan couldn't wait to show up.
Tuesday October 29th, My mom, Chris and I went to sacred Heart Medical Center to check in. Because I was two weeks before my due date they were going to give me something to get my cervix ready and then in the morning they were going to start me on Pitocin to help labor along. After talking to the doctor earlier that day we had decided that I was in it for the long haul. I really was afraid of the idea of a C-section. I have never had one and I really didn't want this to be my first.
So, we got checked in, met my nurse, a really awesome guy named Tom, put in Lois in Clark and started the waiting process. With what they gave me contractions actually started. But I was at a small 1 and a 10 seemed very far away. I wasn't too worried though because and hadn't really started yet.
at around midnight Tom came in and stated that Jordan's heartbeat was low so they wanted to move me to try to help her get it up. They gave me oxygen and kept trying to find a way for me to lay where she would respond better. When they couldn't get it up they called my doctor. She came in and stated that Little girl was "intolerant to labor" (something I WILL use when she is older and we are talking about sex)  and that the doctor didn't feel comfortable letting it continue. She stated that if I was further along in the process that would be a little different but because we were still so early in the labor she really didn't think it would be safe. So we agreed to do a C-section. I didn't care at that point I just wanted my little girl to be ok. It's interesting, I had never been so scared in my life, however tears didn't even fall because I was so focused. This little girl had already been through so much because my body couldn't protect her like it did the boys, and now labor was even worse for her. I just wanted her to get a break. I wanted her to be ok. I would have done anything for her to be ok. So, around 1am Chris made the calls to family to let them know that we were going to go into surgery and she will be here with in the hour.
My mom, dad, brother, Molly, Landon and Isaac came up. I felt very strong that they boys not see me that stressed  and worried. I really wanted it to be a happy night for them. The only family I saw were my brother and mom before they wheeled me back. One of the most comforting moments was when my mother looked me in the eyes as she stroked my hair telling me that she absolutely knows that every thing would be ok. I realize now as I was worried for my daughter, wanting to relive her pain. My mom may have been feeling the same about her daughter, wanting to relive mine.
Chris got in his scrubs and he had to wait until they had me all prepped in the operating room. Mom said he just stood by the door, that he was so focused. I know he was scared. In the operating room they gave me a spinal block and got me all ready. I remember asking over and over for them to tell me about her heartbeat. To make sure that she was ok. At one point I stated that I heard a heartbeat and it sounded like it was picking up, that was good. That when they told me that it was my heartbeat that we were listening to. I know they needed to considering that I was going to be have the surgery, but I really didn't care about my heartbeat, as a matter of fact I found it annoying, I knew my heart was beating, I wanted to hear hers.
They let Chris come in and he gave me such a reassuring smile that I finally let a tear slip. He was so strong for me. Truly a Superman.
After what seemed like forever, we heard it. our little girl take her first breath! They took her straight over to get her cleaned up and assess she was perfect. she stopped crying and Chris brought her to me. at 1:59 am October 30th. Jordan made it and she was perfect.
I know that this is just the beginning if worrying about her. But she is so healthy and such a good girl. She wont hardly cry. She will "squawk" and then give you a little time to figure out how to fix whatever it is she wants before she does it again. Chris and I find ourselves truly blessed to have her, and we couldn't ask for better brothers for her.
Isaac amazes me with his love for her. He will sing to her in the middle of the night if she wakes him. Landon, who wasn't sure he even wanted a sister, has come around a lot. It's almost as though he can't help but fall for her but he doesn't really want people to see. I will catch him talking to her when no one is paying attention.

Dream come true!

Sitting here in my bed with Isaac watching Toy Story 2, I am trying to wrap my mind around how much in my life has changed and how much it is going to change in the next few weeks. Chris and I met ten years ago, we got married 9 years ago and started a family 8 1/2 years ago. Then 4 years ago we split up. We divided our family and did the best we could to co-parent. I am very proud that we didn't split up Christmas or the kids school stuff. We did the best we could to keep a family feeling even when we could hardly stand each other. I remember one hot August day we took the kids to River Front Park for kids day and while we were waiting for some people to show up we realized it was our anniversary when we saw a bride getting pictures taken by the river. We even joked that we should go warn her. We were far from in love. To be honest I wasn't even sure that I would ever truly love again at that point. I correlated love with pain, and I know he did to.
What Christopher and I didn't know at the time was God was working on us. He was allowing us to grow up, and strengthen our relationship with him so that he could be the center of the marriage and not just an observer. Then after three years it was like a light came on. The hate and anger in my heart was gone, I no longer doubted or feared. I knew that Chris loved God and he loved me. I know/knew that he would do anything to protect and honor me. For the first time, I felt safe. We decided that we would not tell anyone for a little while because we knew that there would be doubt and unlike when we were unhappy, we didn't feel we had anything to prove.  We knew this time it was different and that was enough for us. Thankfully we have the kind of friends and family that support us and our decisions. Ill never forget the first 4th of July of Chris and I back together and his Uncle came up and gave me a hug and told me I was missed. I also know it means the world to Chris that my family and friends are close to him as well.
After being back together for over a year we found out that our little family wasn't done growing, and now in less then 8 days we will be having a little girl that we have waited our whole lives to meet. I have always known that God was good. However, I never imagined that I would be this blessed. I am sharing my life with truly my best friend. It sounds
cliché and cheesy but it is the truth. I love being around him. He doesn't make me a better person, he doesn't complete me, it is more then that. I am a whole person that would give anything to keep him from pain. I truly believe in who he is and will support his dreams. I will always laugh with him and give him a hard time about his little feet. I am truly thankful for our life together, and I believe the reason I can be is because I know what it is like when our life is apart.