Strike three...your out!

well....I tried dating....I don't know if you could call it dating. It was my ex-boyfriend from high school. My first love, the one that got away....

OK so maybe he didn't get away, more like, he left. And even though he said he changed, others had said that he had changed, he didn't. The path he takes to walk away from me is so smooth and straight. I am honestly surprised that it had taken him as long as it did to go down that road again. OK, so it didn't take THAT long...only about two months.

Here are the good things about our brief time together again. It got me back on the horse (so to speak) i felt beautiful and worth it when I was around him. After my marriage ended I was pretty content with the fact that I will be alone the rest of my life. But it felt so good to feel love again. Maybe I am meant to be alone, but I am no longer letting that be my only option. Another good thing is that he knows me. he has known me since i was 16 years old. and with me re finding myself. It was nice to not have to explain any of my past. because he was there for it.

Also, I don't have that "what if" anymore, We tried and it didn't work. Granted I never got a goodbye (which after 10 years of being there for each other I would think that I deserved one). And I ended up losing a core friendship in my life because he talked me into making a bet on something he knew I was going to lose. But still there is no longer a "what if".I had glamorized him, glamorized the memories. The truth is he is a man that is flawed. Do I think he still loves me? I think a part of him always will. Just as I him.

After every time he hurts me, he doesn't talk to me for a while but then we get back into touch. I have every confidence that this cycle, just like his leaving patterns with continue... However, this was the third time we had tried to make it would and buddy, its your third strike....your out. Don't bother asking again.